Jess, more commonly known as tumblr user pizza, has recently declared herself to be a previous member of the Illuminati. The spawn of the last Czar of Russia and a unicorn, Jess’ URL, pizza, was actually a comment on Russia’s notorious strained relations with Spain, the birthplace of the pizza. As a matter of fact, Jess is actually lactose intolerant. Her association with the illuminati stemmed from her desire to promote the takeover of non-dairy creamer (which her father invented) over half-and-half creamer worldwide. However, due to alleged conflict with Beyoncé over how to wittily answer anonymous hate mail, Jess left the Illuminati, never to return.
Jess, more commonly known as tumblr user pizza, has recently declared herself to be a previous member of the Illuminati. The spawn of the last Czar of Russia and a unicorn, Jess’ URL, pizza, was actually a comment on Russia’s notorious strained relations with Spain, the birthplace of the pizza. As a matter of fact, Jess is actually lactose intolerant. Her association with the illuminati stemmed from her desire to promote the takeover of non-dairy creamer (which her father invented) over half-and-half creamer worldwide. However, due to alleged conflict with Beyoncé over how to wittily answer anonymous hate mail, Jess left the Illuminati, never to return.
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